PDF Ebook The Journal of Best Practices: A Memoir of Marriage, Asperger Syndrome, and One Man's Quest to Be a Better Husband
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The Journal of Best Practices: A Memoir of Marriage, Asperger Syndrome, and One Man's Quest to Be a Better Husband
PDF Ebook The Journal of Best Practices: A Memoir of Marriage, Asperger Syndrome, and One Man's Quest to Be a Better Husband
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Audible Audiobook
Listening Length: 6 hours and 57 minutes
Program Type: Audiobook
Version: Unabridged
Publisher: Tantor Audio
Audible.com Release Date: April 11, 2012
Whispersync for Voice: Ready
Language: English, English
ASIN: B007T6IYHY
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
As a married adult male who has recently been diagnosed with high functioning autism/Asperger's I found this to be a very good book. Because every marriage/situation/person is different, I didn't treat this book as a handbook for improving my marriage and how to relate to my neurotypical wife, although some of the examples were helpful. Instead, I found inspiration from this book in that it's written by someone who had been having problems in his marriage for a lot longer than I had (I am relatively newly married) and was able to make things work. I was also able to relate to a lot of it and some of his interactions with his wife made me laugh as well. I am getting individual counseling as well as couple's counseling to deal with this in our everyday lives, but this book helped me by showing me that there are other couples in a similar situation who have made things work. Highly recommended.
*****This is a great story, a memoir of an experiment in which the author, recently diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome, works really, really hard on his marriage and his role as a husband and father of two young children. As an engineer, he believes that if he can apply the same dedication and to his marriage that he has historically applied to his job (in which he is very successful), he can achieve success and happiness in his personal life as well. It's written in a tender, honest, and humorous style, and is worth the read not just for those of us who are interested in AS, but for anyone who would enjoy the story of a man overcoming obstacles and prevailing.It is of note that although the author always knew that he was different from other people, he never knew that he had AS until after he was married and his problems began to destroy his marriage. His wife, who is a speech therapist, helped his to suspect this diagnosis, which was then verified by medical professionals.We only see his wife through his eyes, but this is her story too, and in many ways, this book is his love letter to her.I chose this book to read because my husband is quite eccentric with many problems similar to the author's, and although he does not currently have an AS diagnosis (and probably never will), I thought it would be interesting to see how someone who was not neurologically typical and who is very articulate about himself views life. It was indeed a fascinating read.The author is to be commended for working very hard on his marriage and being so generous to share about it in this memoir; his wife is a delight and a joy to love her husband deeply and with strong boundaries. This couple figured out how to get through life together and be happy. If you'd like to read about how they did that, and you'd like to see the world through the eyes of someone with AS, you will certainly enjoy this book.Highly recommended.*****
I am, by trade, a school psychologist and have spent many years with children on the spectrum. I have also been with my husband for 18 years and have always suggested that he likely falls somewhere on said spectrum. I decided to give this book a read in hopes of getting a better grasp on my husband's "quirks," or to at least perhaps find some similarities or understanding (my husband isn't much of a talker).I found this book to be a very worthwhile read. It is engaging, honest and funny. It definitely gave me new insight and my husband is even interested in giving it a read. This is one I'll likely pick up again and again!Item received in exchange for an honest review.
This book is quite unique compared to the other AS books out there. It provided me with exactly what I wanted... an understanding of what it's like to have AS and be a married man having severe marital problems. I did not want another book telling me the definition, the list of symptoms, etc... but a true account of someone who deals with AS, as an Aspie, daily. I wanted to know the "insider" stuff. I wanted to know how married males see things, IF there was an AS married man on the planet who would actually attempt to address some of the issues in a marriage (seems to go against their AS nature, as far as I have seen), and IF one DID attempt to address the issues what issues would they feel needed addressed and how would they go about addressing them? (See my note below for why I really wanted to read something like this...better communication during divorce) This book is quite remarkable and was written by an AS man who became determined to save his marriage. He recounts in great detail his challenges and how he faced, and ultimately overcame, what he and his wife determined to be the major problem areas. Often times his way of dealing with an issue was unusual, but by seeing how he knew and used what worked for him those of us NT's in the world can see just how resilient and adaptable those with AS really are (Yes, they ARE adaptable!). The author's amount of effort and thought and downright perseverance leaves you cheering him on and hoping, if their is justice in the world, that he will succeed. His personal limitations, daily routines, and feelings of loneliness, etc... are very candidly described, all leading (me anyway) to a far better understanding of an AS mind. His willingness to share so much about himself was very moving, and helpful. For those with AS, whether they intend to attempt to "address" some issues or not, I would think that this book would provide understanding. It would let you know that you are not alone, and that it IS possible to make life easier for yourself (and those around you). In fact by the end of the book the author is actually having fun in social situations, something he had always dreaded in the past. Life was far easier for him and his wife, he learned how to "connect" to his children, and at an absolute minimum was able to see what others experienced when they were with him. Instead of constantly being fearful of what others thought of him he learned to appreciate himself for who he was. In the case of my husband I could see where this alone would help his feelings of low self esteem. I really admire the author for his willingness to share his personal life with others, and the incredible efforts he went to solely for the purpose of helping his wife be happy. I know what things are like from the NT side of a marriage and his resolve, among other things, taught me that those with AS CAN care. They can care a great deal. Thank you for teaching me that. I would have been happy with the book if I had learned nothing else.One other note: I have decided against purchasing many other AS books because the reviews or description made them sound like a self-help kind of book that was supposed to help me understand my husband, learn to forgive him, suck it up and live with far less expectations, and save my marriage. Hogwash. I did NOT want to save my marriage and was not looking for a book that would help do so. In fact when I purchased this book I purchased several on divorce at the same time. My only purpose in getting this book was to hopefully learn something that might enable me to talk to my husband for more than 10 seconds without being screamed at. We have 2 children together and even divorced we would need to talk to each other. I just wanted to be able to talk constructively occasionally, and perhaps limit a little of the abuse. In honestly my AS husband seems like a real jerk... selfish with no empathy or compassion. He lives in his own world and cares nothing (seemingly anyway) for anyone but himself. His behavior can be incredibly odd, he never lifts a finger to help me but constantly complains that I do to much. Basically he is everything you do not want in a husband...the absolute opposite in every way of hardworking, gentle, affectionate, loving and kind. He is a verbally abusive alcoholic and after 26 years of this our children are grown and I am done. Well... maybe not quite done. The book, even though I didn't want it to, made me see some things I didn't see before, primarily just how difficult life is for those with AS. I thought I understood before that they didn't do things to hurt people but simply didn't know any better (sounds good but difficult to believe when being very personally attacked), but perhaps there is more to it than that. I suppose that the author, by being so forthcoming about his own feelings and struggles, gave me hope that men with AS can adapt themselves to living with NT's if they want to bad enough. Will my husband be willing to work a fraction as hard as the author did? We'll see, but for now at least I know that a man with AS IS capable of caring. That's huge. If they can care, and maybe my husband does care somewhere deep inside his strangely wired brain and seemingly missing heart, there's a glimmer of hope that he will care enough to try. Lord knows I am willing to help... and I do have a little patience left.
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